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Funny Facebook Statuses and Funny Twitter Statuses

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Status Crap is posting other people’s funny, stupid and ridiculous facebook and twitter status updates. Then he’s going to pinch off a turd after lunch. Just copy and paste them from facebook, twitter, etc. It's too much fun!
Greg I never lock the bathroom door. If someone walks in on me I yell "GET THE F*** IN HERE!". It always works.
2010-08-12 - Funny Facebook Statuses - Comments(0)
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Alex The Expendables is basically just The Devine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood for people who were adolescent boys in the 80s.
2010-08-12 - Funny Facebook Statuses - Comments(0)
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robdelaney One fun thing about adulthood is being attacked by an unexpected childhood memory & then weeping uncontrollably in a bakery.
2010-08-12 - Funny Twitter Statuses - Comments(0)
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robdelaney Sex Ed. when you're home-schooled must be a treat.
2010-08-12 - Funny Twitter Statuses - Comments(0)
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Michael There's a reason I can't do both at the same time: premature ejaculation
2010-08-11 - Funny Facebook Statuses - Comments(0)
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crazedhebrew I hope you were relentless on that kid David Mound. His name is Mound and he eats raw eggs. Loser.
2010-08-11 - Funny Twitter Statuses - Comments(0)
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alexblagg For all photos, I think I'm gonna start lifting up my shirt, showing off my gut, and demanding to be called The Fatuation.
2010-08-11 - Funny Twitter Statuses - Comments(0)
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Adam Wyclef Jean has filed papers to run for President of Haiti. If his politics are as good as his rapping on "Hips Don't Lie", Haiti is saved.
2010-08-11 - Funny Facebook Statuses - Comments(0)
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Steve Everytime I check my Twitter Account, I get a really weird feeling I'm being followed... anyone else get this?
2010-08-10 - Funny Twitter Statuses - Comments(0)
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jondaly I wonder how many times a day Mark Zuckerberg jacks it to the "The Social Network" preview?
2010-08-10 - Funny Twitter Statuses - Comments(0)
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Julie I hope Teresa Giudice's daughters all grow up to be butch lesbians who are picked on in high school, then move to Portland.
2010-08-10 - Funny Facebook Statuses - Comments(0)
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Rainn My body is a temple. The temple of Grugax, the fat, albino monkey-goblin. Sacrifices welcome.
2010-08-10 - Funny Facebook Statuses - Comments(0)
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JoyVBehar I’m getting ready to interview President Obama. There’s so much security here at the View, you’d think Justin Bieber was back.
2010-08-10 - Funny Twitter Statuses - Comments(0)
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