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Funny Facebook Statuses and Funny Twitter Statuses

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Status Crap is posting other people’s funny, stupid and ridiculous facebook and twitter status updates. Then he’s going to pinch off a turd after lunch. Just copy and paste them from facebook, twitter, etc. It's too much fun!
3rdand10 Remember before Hummers when you had to talk to a guy to tell if he was an asshole?
2010-08-17 - Funny Twitter Statuses - Comments(0)
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Paul Is the general rule, the dirtier the servers are at health food restaurants the better the food is?
2010-08-17 - Funny Facebook Statuses - Comments(0)
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joshwolfcomedy i hate everyones balls except for mine
2010-08-16 - Funny Twitter Statuses - Comments(0)
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Matt monday morning at work is like getting woken up by someone hitting you in the face with a piece of wet fish
2010-08-16 - Funny Facebook Statuses - Comments(0)
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Jon Woke up this morning with my ear folded under my head. It's very sore. That's dangerous. People should be made more aware of folded ear.
2010-08-16 - Funny Facebook Statuses - Comments(0)
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Sarah Want to feel like a serial killer? Be the only person eating in a Jack-in-the-box
2010-08-16 - Funny Facebook Statuses - Comments(0)
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rainnwilson In the zombie apocalypse, if forced to eat human meat, i would only eat women cause eating man meat is gay.
2010-08-16 - Funny Twitter Statuses - Comments(0)
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Ryan You won't be laughing when your daughter gets one of my tweets tattooed on her stomach.
2010-08-16 - Funny Facebook Statuses - Comments(0)
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BorowitzReport Anonymous blog comments are the Internet's version of flaming bags of shit left on a doorstep.
2010-08-16 - Funny Twitter Statuses - Comments(0)
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billmaher I know its mostly kids but anyone so idle and lame to camp out for a phone or a movie shld be used to stop up the oil well
2010-08-14 - Funny Twitter Statuses - Comments(0)
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James Eat Pray Love was basically about an insecure girl who figures out she's a selfish idiot...Bali looks pretty cool though :)
2010-08-14 - Funny Facebook Statuses - Comments(0)
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Will When someone says 'wait for it...' as a comedic device, it's even funnier to just kick them in the crotch real fast.
2010-08-14 - Funny Facebook Statuses - Comments(0)
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Rob My four year old: One day I want to go to Hollywood. Me: You live in Hollywood. Her: Oh. (pause) One day I want to go to Party City.
2010-08-14 - Funny Facebook Statuses - Comments(0)
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