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Funny Facebook Statuses and Funny Twitter Statuses

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Status Crap is posting other people’s funny, stupid and ridiculous facebook and twitter status updates. Then he’s going to pinch off a turd after lunch. Just copy and paste them from facebook, twitter, etc. It's too much fun!
Andy One annoying thing about sidewalks is how the squares light up when I step on them. #imjesus
2010-08-25 - Funny Facebook Statuses - Comments(0)
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Micheal Ever have one of those weird dreams where you wake up with humps? With humps? With lovely lady lumps?
2010-08-25 - Funny Facebook Statuses - Comments(0)
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joelovero My sweatpants to me this cold morning, "I haven't seen you in months and now you think you can just get inside me?"
2010-08-24 - Funny Facebook Statuses - Comments(0)
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Brian Facebook is trying to prevent people from seeing the film "The Social Network" by telling people it's about LinkedIn.
2010-08-24 - Funny Facebook Statuses - Comments(0)
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Nipples Yep go all in @GhostPanther Help. I need a quick poker ruling. Does a six, nine, Jack, three, queen beat a full house? If it does I just made five grand!
2010-08-24 - Funny Twitter Statuses - Comments(0)
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joelmchale Dear Douche Bag wearing sunglasses in the grocery store, You are achieving the opposite effect of your goal.
2010-08-24 - Funny Twitter Statuses - Comments(0)
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Rob It's finally over for Frankie Muniz, right? We can put that behind us?
2010-08-24 - Funny Facebook Statuses - Comments(0)
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Kris_McCoy An unknown number of cupcakes have fled to Canada, removing their icing and pretending to be muffins. #cupcakewar
2010-08-23 - Funny Twitter Statuses - Comments(0)
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JimGaffigan Goat Cheese: "Hey you know that disgusting animal you'd never eat? Check out what we did with some of it's breast milk!"
2010-08-23 - Funny Twitter Statuses - Comments(0)
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David Why do people waste so much money on sex changes when all you have to do is slash the "s" of the word "she".
2010-08-23 - Funny Facebook Statuses - Comments(0)
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robdelaney NERDS: How do I disable the shutter-click noise on my phone's camera? This lady on the bus is breastfeeding twins.
2010-08-23 - Funny Twitter Statuses - Comments(0)
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robdelaney 911 operators' voices should be electronically "Muppet-ized" to set callers at ease in their time of difficulty.
2010-08-23 - Funny Twitter Statuses - Comments(0)
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Judah I'm going to break into the apple store overnight and replace all their macs with pc computers. Just to mess with them.
2010-08-23 - Funny Facebook Statuses - Comments(0)
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